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It needs to be perfect: How to help girls cope with the pressure of perfectionism

The National Institutes of Health in the United States said chasing perfection can increase the risk of health issues such as eating disorders, anxiety and pathological worry, and in some severe cases, even premature death.

Signs of perfectionism include:

  • Self-criticism
  • Holding oneself to a different standard
  • Basing self-worth only on achievements and performance
  • Constant comparison with others
  • Excessive checking, overthinking and causing delays in completing tasks or projects
  • Perpetual procrastination
  • Finding it hard to relax or “let go”
  • Persistent thoughts of “not good enough”
  • All or nothing mindset

An interesting point about perfectionism is that its counterpart is procrastination.

Why is this so? Experts say that perfectionism is both seeking excellence and avoiding failure.

So when one is seeking excellence, one goes to great lengths to achieve results. When someone procrastinates, it could be due to the fear of failure (of attaining perfection) and thus avoids doing the task for as long as possible.

Australian author, researcher and well-being coach Megan Dalla-Camina said in an article in Psychology Today: “For many people, this combination of perfectionism and procrastination can lead to roadblocks that deter success and progress.”

She added that the build-up of stress caused by either of these behaviours can lead to burnout.

Dr Sng Khai Imm, clinical psychologist and director of Hope for Tomorrow Psychology Centre, concurred: “When girls seek perfection, they can become overly focused on achieving this ‘perfect’ standard. Their focus becomes very narrow.

“They also avoid mistakes and are less interested in novel ideas that have less certainty for perfection and instead, put them at risk of failure. As a result, things like creativity, experimentation and fun are lost.”

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