Grief decluttering: This KonMari consultant helps people sort through the belongings of loved ones who have died

When a loved one dies, what do you do with the things they leave behind? The mug they drank their coffee from, the pyjamas that still smell like them, their handphone with its unique case, and their favourite books. 

How do you discard anything when everything reminds you of the person you’ve just lost? It feels as if you’re throwing them – and your memories of them – away. 

That’s where Martini Constance Lim comes in. The 43-year-old was so passionate about keeping things neat that she started a side business to help others organise their space. 

Part of her work involves “grief decluttering”, where she helps clients sort through the belongings of a loved one who has died and guides them in deciding which items to keep or throw.

Lim works full-time as an IT executive but after becoming certified as a KonMari consultant – the decluttering principles taught by popular Japanese tidying expert Marie Kondo – she started Minimize With Joy in 2020. Kondo’s organising method is based on self-reflection and asking whether an item “sparks joy”. 

The Singaporean, who was born in Indonesia, has helped dozens of clients declutter their wardrobes, pack their belongings before a big move, tidy their bedrooms and kitchens, and organise personal spaces. 

A year after she launched Minimize With Joy, Lim received an unusual request. A client asked her to declutter her late brother’s belongings – a first for her.

“When her brother died, she had no idea where or how to start dealing with his items,” Lim said. “So she wanted my help to guide her.”

Lim said the KonMari principles of self-reflection, contemplation and letting go of what doesn’t spark joy still applied, so she was happy to help her grieving client. 

GRIEF DECLUTTERING AS A HEALING PROCESS

When it comes to general decluttering, the questions are simple: Keep or let go? If letting go, donate, sell or toss? If kept, where and how will it stay neat and bring you peace? This matrix helps you go through your belongings more easily.